Power of Pink

Let me start this post by apologizing if I share too much information for your tastes and also let you know that I am perfectly fine. I did, however, have a recent experience that I feel compelled to share if for no other reason than to  promote awareness. I realize I seem to be on a bit of a charity kick lately and while not intentional, I guess growing up has made me more in tune with the reality of the world around me which means counting my blessings and recognizing that there are many less fortunate than me who need help, awareness, and hope.

This week I had my yearly appointment with my “girl doctor” which is just about the only time I go to the doctor. Regular maintenance is a good thing. As I lay on the table telling Dr. Seuss about my new business she was doing the routine breast exam starting on the right, then moving left, then back to the right. I noticed instantly that she went back to the right and felt my heart go into my throat. She asked if I had noticed the bump before and if I had experienced any pain or tenderness; no, to all of the above. She put my hand on the bump on the right so I could feel it and then compared that to how the left breast felt and there was a subtle, but obvious difference.

Trying to remain calm, not panic, not cry, and not freak out for the rest of the appointment was a challenge. Dr. Seuss was not concerned at all and said it was normal to have abnormalities. Always better to be safe than sorry, she wrote me up for a diagnostic mammography and ultrasound. Her doctor’s orders included a picture of the bump she felt and the description “area of density” which was the area to be checked out.

Getting Diagnosed

Normally when it comes to making appointments for myself I am somewhat of a procrastinator. In this scenario, I had no desire to go days or weeks waiting to know if what Dr. Seuss felt was something to be concerned about. I called the local breast center and was able to get an appointment within 24 hours. That helped reduce a little of my building anxiety. I emailed my doctor friend and oncology nurse sister-in-law to get a better grip on what this meant, what questions I should ask, what the radiologists would be looking for, and to help calm my nerves. They put me at ease instantly saying that young women’s breasts are normally very lumpy and dense and it’s very common to feel abnormalities which more often than not end up being benign lumps or nothing at all. Telling my husband about this brought on a whole new wave of anxiety, however, and it hit me how terrifying it is to not know.

This was not something I could self-diagnose on WebMD and despite my online research efforts, no amount of articles, blogs, or websites could tell me what the bump was.  By the end of the night I had calmed down, distracted myself with a great new find on Twitter (#journchat if you’re interested), and just wanted to get the diagnostic visit over with.

This morning I was fine. I got over my paranoia and believed in the normality of abnormal bumps. While the Anne Arundel Medical Center for the most part is a top-notch facility, I found the Breast Center to be a little lacking in the comforting atmosphere of some of the other offices I’ve visited. Perhaps it’s because I was not there of my own volition. Sitting in the waiting room, waiting, my anxiety returned. Worse-case scenarios raced through my mind. I started thinking about the women I know who have survived breast cancer, and those who haven’t. I know too many. I tried to drum up what I knew about breast cancer, where it comes from, how it can be beat, and found myself sorely undereducated on the topic. I waited, believing in what my friend and sister-in-law told me, believing I’m fine.

After I was called back and had put on the front-opening smock, I found myself waiting again only this time within earshot of both the mammography and ultrasound rooms. I watched several women come and go from both of these rooms. One woman came out of the mammography room and sat waiting next to me with her eyes closed and hands clasped in her lap. I could sense her own anxiety and could think of nothing to say. Finally a technician came smiling around the corner telling her everything looked great and the woman’s shoulders dropped in relief. I felt myself let out a deep breath as well. She had clearly not chosen to be there either.

When it was my turn a technician took me into the ultrasound room and explained they’d start with that and only do a mammogram if necessary. She looked at my chart and said, “You’re 29, right?” I nodded, not smiling, not knowing what that meant in relation to the bump on my right breast.

Never having had an ultrasound before (but having seen them on TV), I was pleasantly surprised to find out that the gel they rub the transducer with was warm. I lifted my arm and turned to look at the screen (like they do on TV) while the technician felt around with the transducer. Actually, I was half watching the screen and half watching for some sort of reaction from the technician. She did her best to explain what we were looking at and then the head radiologist came in and explained in about two minutes the good news that the bump was just a fibrocystic breast change and left me with an information sheet on what that means.

The whole experience, from finding an “area of density” to having it confirmed to be nothing to worry about, literally lasted 24 hours. The anxiety I felt during that time was 100% related to simply not knowing. I cannot fathom what my over-reactive, imaginative mind would have come up with if I had not gotten a diagnostic appointment so quickly or if I had had to have the mammogram as well, or worse, if I would have had to have a biopsy for further diagnosis. I have no intention on dwelling on the “what ifs.” I will happily take my fibrocystic breast change.

Don’t Wait

What I do know is that there are women who have waited longer. They have waited longer to have a seemingly innocent bump checked out. They have waited longer for diagnosis. They have waited longer for biopsy results. They have waited for treatment. Women right now are waiting to beat breast cancer. We are all waiting for a cure.

I am not asking you to donate money or volunteer your time, I am simply asking you to be aware of the world around you, be grateful for what you have, and take care of it. Should want to get involved in the fight against cancer, there are numerous ways to do so and I will leave you with just a few sites you might find helpful:

Breast Cancer information:
http://www.breastcancer.org/

Nancy Brinker speaks at the Susan G. Komen National Race for the Cure. Photo courtesy Susan G. Komen for the Cure.

National Breast Cancer Awareness Month:
http://nbcam.org/index.cfm

Susan G. Komen for the Cure:
http://ww5.komen.org/

Breast Cancer Crusade:
http://www.avoncompany.com/women/avoncrusade/