The Case of the Missing ________

Every now and then when I go to put on earrings in the morning I do a quick sweep through my pile to see if my fake pearl-like earrings that I bought two years ago from Anthropologie might magically have reappeared. Alas, they continue to be missing and I have no idea when I actually lost them. This is a unique case for me because usually I just mysteriously lose one earring whose match goes in the lonely “misfit earring” drawer in the hopes that its partner will one day return.

I like to think that I am a very organized person and I honestly don’t lose things all that often. Around the house, almost everything has its place from the coffee mugs to the dog’s collars (she has 10 of them so they can’t hang on just any hook) to the miscellaneous candles, magazines, and my keys. My keys go on the hook by the door; my husband’s keys go wherever they land when he’s emptying out his pockets for the day. Although things don’t always make it to their assigned home, I at least know where to look when something turns up missing. The problem ensues when it takes me a while to realize I’ve lost something because it becomes that much harder to find.

At first I thought I’d only lost a few earrings in the last year, but then I really furrowed my brow trying to think of all the things I can’t find and where in the world they might be. There’s a pair of dusty blue gloves out there somewhere, perhaps next to my husband’s slipper-boots (how do you lose slippers?!), along with a floor mat from my old car, an entire book of CDs that went missing eight years ago, several shirts, and tons of jewelry. And, I’m still stumped over the case of my missing black lightweight Patagonia rain jacket. Every time I bring it up I’m very specific about it so that in case someone has seen it, it can be returned, but the thing I find odd about this particular item is that I feel bad for it rather than irritated with myself. I think “gosh, that poor jacket is alone out there” rather than “why was I so careless that I just left it somewhere!” You’d think by now I would have put up “missing jacket” signs around town and have a reward ready.

The only upside to losing something is the pure excitement you get when you find it. “Wow! There’s the high school class ring I lost 10 years ago! I thought it was gone forever.” True story. The whole process of losing or misplacing something I find frustrating because it’s not something you intend to do. You don’t want to lose things. (Ok, maybe you do but depending on what it is, you probably shouldn’t admit it.) Losing something is like when the dryer sucks up a sock—you have no idea how it happened, you’ve lost control. I’d like to help you get it back.

In the case of the missing [insert name of your missing item here], first check where it’s supposed to be and if you still can’t find it, let us know. Maybe it will turn up here in lost and found.